


Through Your Eyes

by Emcee



Series: Through His Eyes [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Do-Over, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mind Meld, Moving In Together, Nostalgia, Oral Sex, Pining, Psychic Bond, Reference to Spock Prime/Saavik, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism, Vulcan Kisses, Vulcan Mind Melds, all the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:22:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23414518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emcee/pseuds/Emcee
Summary: In his dreams, Ambassador Spock sees the life of his younger counterpart. He gets to relive the nostalgia of his youth, see what he never had... And wonder what might have been with Lieutenant Uhura.
Relationships: Spock Prime/Nyota Uhura, Spock/Nyota Uhura
Series: Through His Eyes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684618
Comments: 15
Kudos: 69





	Through Your Eyes

Over the many years he had served on the Enterprise, Spock had many experiences that he-- at the time-- deemed 'fascinating' that were, in fact, extraordinary. It had prepared him well for his life as an Ambassador, in which there were often challenges one so experienced would be ill suited to deal with.

Finding himself stranded in an alternate version of the past for his twilight years was a novel situation, Spock had to admit. But the only logical course of action was to forge onward, to help rebuild the Vulcan civilization.

He could find no logical course of action for the other situation he found himself in.

He already existed in this world. A younger-- very changed-- version of himself, but himself none the less. It was best that he and his younger counterpart keep a distance between them. 

But physical distance meant little in a telepathic species.

At first, Spock hadn't noticed it. The grief for the loss of Vulcan and their mother could well have been his own. But it wasn't long before those fleeting sensations turned to vivid images in his mind as he slept.

He thought it might have been a dream. He was on the bridge of the Enterprise again, but it was not the Enterprise as he remembered it. Dreams were not a place of logic. It did not disturb him that the ship appeared sleeker and more advanced than it did in his memories. Nor did Ensign Chekov's curly mane of hair.

There was nothing spectacular about the vision. It was an average duty shift aboard the Enterprise. A very strange thing to dream about, but nothing that disturbed him.

It was only when Spock left the bridge that he began to question what was happening. He went to his quarters. He began to shed his uniform as he walked towards his bed.

A bed that was not unoccupied.

Lieutenant Uhura was lying atop the bed, wearing only a Starfleet Academy shirt. Her long legs were bare, stretched out behind her. She was pouring over PADDs, wearing an earpiece. She turned her head at the sound of his footsteps. "Spock." She smiled, before looking back at her work spread across the bed. "Sorry about the mess. I was preparing for our summit with the..."

Spock dropped his tunic onto the bed over the PADDs. With his now-free hand, he brushed index and middle finger over Uhura's.

"I noted your absence on the bridge," Spock found his voice to be low and rough.

Uhura's smile brightened. "The Captain wants me to focus on getting the syntax for his speech correct. The Refimerens are an easily offended species and if the Captain speaks incorrectly.... And it will be just as offensive if he uses a translator."

"Of which I am well aware." Spock let his other hand slip into Uhura's long, straight hair. "However, I would have preferred you were on the bridge."

Uhura sat up on her knees. Spock felt her slender fingers caress his bare chest. "Are you trying to say that you missed me?"

Spock leaned down, pressing his forehead to hers. "That would be an accurate summation."

Uhura's hand continued to stroke his chest, the fingers of her other hand tangling with Spock's. "Well... We are together now."

"Indeed." Spock leaned in, pressing his mouth to Uhura's, finally giving in to the affection he'd wanted since the moment he'd seen her on his bed. He let loose a growl. "Nyota..."

Uhura pulled Spock towards the bed. Several PADDs fell to the floor as he felt himself swept up in her presence.

Just as Spock allowed his hand to creep beneath Uhura's shirt, her comm began to beep. She sighed and reached blindly to her side for it. 

"Lieutenant Uhura," Jim's voice came through. "I thought I told you to lock yourself up until the speech was done. Yet I'm outside your quarters and I'm pretty sure you're not in them."

Uhura smiled apologetically at Spock as he rolled onto his back beside her. "Sorry Captain... You were... Unspecific about where I should lock myself up."

"Suppose you got me there. Anyway, Ensign Wright just got a communication from Starfleet about some protocols we need to add. I'd like to speak with you about them."

Spock had already risen from the bed and went to the closet. He held out a fresh uniform for Uhura while she pulled off her shirt. She wiggled into the uniform, still holding onto the comm awkwardly. "I can meet you in your Ready Room in five minutes, Captain."

Spock stood back as Uhura opened the door, only to be greeted by Jim on the other side. He held out the PADD to her. "Here are the new protocols." He glanced into the room, smirking at Spock's state of undress. "Perhaps Commander Spock can go over the protocols with you."

Spock had hastily pulled his tunic back on, nodding. "I will assist Lieutenant Uhura in any way I can, Captain."

"I'm sure you will," Jim replied slyly. "You know, Lieutenant... Sulu's been eyeing your quarters since we left Earth. If you don't need them, I'm sure he'd love a reassignment."

Uhura took the PADD. "Thank you, Captain. I'll get right on those changes."

When Jim had left and Uhura had closed the door once again, Spock embraced Uhura from behind. "The Captain's logic is sound. You only spend four point one percent of your off-duty hours in your own quarters."

Uhura leaned against him. "Are you asking me to live with you?"

Spock pressed his face to her shoulder. "I am merely asking you to confirm what is already fact."

* * *

It was the mundanity of the interaction that told Spock it was not something conjured from his own subconscious. If it had been an experience of a more carnal nature, Spock would have had no problem believing it was a dream. But it had been innocent and just a matter of fact. 

The vision he experienced in his dreams caused him to look up this reality's version of the Enterprise. The interior was the same as his dream. When he looked through the rosters, he saw Chekov's curly hair rather than straight like his own counterpart. He had a suspicion his own must have straightened his and that is why it looked so atrociously fake.

But that was not what he cared about. What he cared about was her.

She was different, but no less as lovely. This was not Lieutenant Uhura.

This was Nyota.

At first, he was shocked his younger counterpart would engage in a relationship with his subordinate. While it was not against Starfleet regulations, it was illogical for him to compromise his position in such a way. They had not been on the Enterprise for long. The familiarity they showed predated their posting. How had they met? Spock had not known his Uhura until they were stationed together. What twist of fate had allowed them to meet early? Allowed his young self to open his heart to her?

The thoughts and feelings he felt while with her were not his own. They belonged to his younger counterpart. They were mentally linked. Normally, such strong bonds required physical contact. But they possessed the same mind in two bodies. There was a logic in their connection.

He should have known the emotions were not his own. They were so raw and untamed, but... Pleasantly so. His counterpart enjoyed the emotions he shared with Nyota. He had no desire to suppress them with her when in the privacy of their own quarters. He allowed himself a level of freedom Spock had never given into.

Of course it would have been Uhura. Of course. If there was anyone who could have made him forget the pursuit of _kolinahr,_ it would have been her. In any reality, she was an exceptional woman. She was intelligent, kind, brave and so very beautiful. They had a rapport he shared with few. He had always allowed her liberties even Jim and Leonard had not been given. He fondly recalled her flirtatious teasing, from asking him to call her beautiful or singing a song teasing him while he played his _Ka'athyra_.

It would have been illogical for him to engage in a romantic relationship with a subordinate. But to be in a relationship with _Uhura_... That would have been entirely logical.

* * *

Spock enjoyed his nightly glimpses into his counterpart's life. He saw the first seeds of his friendship with Jim and reveled in the nostalgia of those early adventures. They are not exactly the same as his own, but enough to spark the memories. He saw his old friends-- all lost to him now-- back in their prime.

But mostly, he saw Nyota. It was too easy for him to think of her with the same familiarity his counterpart did. When Spock saw through his other's eyes, he felt everything he did. Spock found himself altering his sleep cycle once he'd calculated when his counterpart and Nyota were most likely to be together in private.

Their relationship has an utter ease to it that Spock could barely comprehend. He would have thought he would become uncomfortable with sharing such close quarters for so long. He had never cohabitated with anyone. His marriage to Saavik was one of mutual respect, but they only came together as husband and wife during Pon Farr. It was logical for two career-minded individuals to pursue their own paths rather than live in proximity to one another.

His relationship with Nyota was nothing but proximity. Their shifts on the bridge tended to coincide. Spock had discovered not only was this due to their positions on the Senior Staff, but because of Jim's encouragement of their relationship. 

"You're a lot less _you_ when you're getting laid regularly, Spock," Jim had attempted to tease him.

He felt his younger counterpart raise an eyebrow at that. Spock had to disagree with the assessment. If anything, being with Nyota made him feel more _him._ He felt more comfortable in the skin of his counterpart he ever felt in his own life. 

Spock was a child of two worlds, yet both of those worlds seemed to coalesce into harmony when he was with her. He could be with her, yet not interacting with her, and be eased just to know she was there. They would be doing separate research and he would just occasionally look to her or reach out to brush their fingers together. 

They often conversed in his native tongue, the only time he was allowed such freedom on the Enterprise.

And there were their intimacies. Spock felt like a voyeur to observe them, but he did not know how to cease them. Nyota enjoyed physical closeness. 

That night, he was reading and she slipped under his arm, resting against his chest. He did not protest her attempts to 'cuddle', as she called it. He allowed his lip to quirk up and draped his arm over her shoulders while shifting himself to continue reading.

Eventually, he inclined his head. Nyota hummed in pleasure as he kissed her gently. Spock put his reading down to caress her fingers with his while she slipped her tongue into his mouth.

These kisses made Spock's ardour rise. He released a low growl and pulled her into his lap, pulling her hair from its ponytail, letting it cascade over her shoulders. 

He pressed his fingers to the psi-points on Nyota's face and she let out a stuttering gasp against his mouth. He delved into her mind, sharing their thoughts and feelings, while Nyota eagerly rocked against him. They were still dressed, but the intimacy was just as deep as if he had been penetrating her.

Experiencing their mind melds were even more intrusive than witnessing their copulation. Spock had no right to Nyota's mind. She had opened herself up to his other, not to him. Yet he could not stop himself. He never said the words aloud, but it sang through their link.

_I love you. I need you. Never leave me._

Her voice responded back to him. _Never, ever. I'm yours. I love you_.

Spock forced himself to wake up. He couldn't allow himself to intrude any longer. 

He closed his eyes, falling into his own thoughts-- his own memories. 

He thought about the last time he'd seen his Nyota. He had been with her when it happened. That quiet, dark room in Kenya. He had happened to be on Earth when he'd received word. He'd abandoned his obligations to go.

He had been the only one who was able to get there in time. The few that remained were too far away. But he had been there. He was holding her hand. He felt her leave him.

And worse, she had never really been his.

* * *

Spock found himself sleeping less and meditating more. He needed to find a way to block the images of his counterpart's life. He couldn't intrude into the relationship the Commander shared with Nyota.

It was unfair to them. He had no right to their feelings. He was living vicariously a life that was not his.

Yet when he meditated, images came to him all the same. Only these weren't what his younger counterpart was doing on the Enterprise.

They were memories.

Spock was on Earth. It was three years earlier. He was teaching an Advanced Phonology class at the Academy. In his timeline, he had already been assigned to the Enterprise.

That was the difference. That was the change that gave his counterpart this different path. 

And there she was. "Commander Spock... I'm Nyota Uhura. I've been assigned to be your teacher's aide."

Spock was surprised at how little he felt in that moment. From the emotions he felt for Nyota, he had thought it would have been _Shon-ha'lock_. But he just barely acknowledged her presence with a small nod. "Your scores and aptitude tests are impressive, Cadet Uhura. I believe you will be an agreeable assistant to me."

He saw the weeks and months pass. It started out professionally. She would help him grade assignments and work on his lesson plans. After a while, she was staying late to socialize with him, listen to him speak about Vulcan and she would speak about Kenya. He began to teach her the _Ka'athyra_. She taught him to dance, albeit somewhat reluctantly on his part.

There were few he considered a confidant, let alone a friend. Yet he found himself anticipating the time spent with her in the quiet of his office. There was a sensation growing inside of him with each encounter.

Near the end of term-- one Spock found himself illogically dreading-- he and the Cadet were playing chess. She had been challenging him for weeks. He did not want to humiliate her. He offered to play 2-D chess with her to give her a fighting chance. But...

She won.

The moment she declared Checkmate, he knew. The feeling he had felt inside of him, increasing with each day he spent with her.

He was in love with Cadet Uhura.

It was illogical. It was inappropriate. That did not make it any less a fact.

He could not deny his feelings now that he was aware of them. He required counsel. Speaking to anyone in Starfleet might risk his career. Any Vulcan would dismiss his feelings.

Once Cadet Uhura had left for the evening, he sought the only logical source of advice.

"Spock?" His mother frowned in worry. "Why are you calling? Is something wrong? You look... Troubled."

"You love Father, do you not, Mother?" Spock asked. Was it the right question to begin with?

His mother nodded. "Yes, Spock... Of course I do. Why do you ask?"

"How did you know you loved him? How did you know it was right to give up your entire life for him? To marry someone outside your species, knowing you would never truly be accepted by his kind?" All of the questions spilled out in one breath.

The worry left his mother's face. She shook her head. "What is her name, Spock?"

"I am merely inquiring about your relationship with father."

His mother laughed. "You're asking me about love. Something you have never done before. You would only do that if you felt it. What is her name?"

He could feel the heat of his cheeks and was sure he was turning green. "Nyota."

"Nyota? Cadet Uhura? You've mentioned her before. Your aide. I should have known! You've never mentioned a girl before, even just as a friend. You do not need to know how I knew I loved your father... I just knew. Just as you know you love Nyota. That's why you contacted me. You would not be giving up anything to be with her. You're both in Starfleet..."

"Academy," Spock corrected her. "Starfleet _Academy_. She is my student."

"You're a graduate student teaching your first class!" His mother pointed out, laughing. "She can't be more than a few years younger than you!"

"Three years, two months and five days," Spock elaborated.

"Your term is ending! And you said in your last transmission you won't be teaching next year. They want you to work on the simulation full time."

"I am still a Commander in Starfleet," Spock pointed out. "She is my subordinate. It is inappropriate."

"Love is not about appropriate. Or logic." His mother's face was stern. "If you care for this girl and she cares for you, do what you must to be with her. You, of all people, would be able to find some way you could be together without breaking the rules."

"What about T'Pring?" 

"You have no obligations to her," his mother insisted. "You freed her to seek another mate when you left for Starfleet. That meant the same for you."

"Until T'Pring finds another, we are still bound. How could I sully a relationship with Nyota knowing I had an intended?"

"You're looking for excuses," his mother admonished him.

Spock furrowed his brow. "Why would you advise me to do this?"

His mother smiled. "Because that's why you contacted me, Spock. If you wanted to be dissuaded, you would have gone to your father or someone from Starfleet. You wanted me to tell you that it's okay. You're allowed to feel for this girl. If you thought your relationship was truly wrong, you would not have allowed it to reach this point. Do you know how she feels about you?"

Spock paused, considering his interactions with Nyota. "She finds me visually pleasing. She goes out of her way to interact with me on both a professional and personal basis. Logic dictates that she has some level of affection for me." He sighed. "But I find all of this very illogical."

"There is a logical solution." His mother laughed again. "Spock, just _tell her_. Tell her how you feel. She'll let you know what her feelings are. From everything you've told me... I don't think you'll be disappointed."

He knew what to do the next day. He couldn't speak to Nyota outright. It would be too improper. More than that, he didn't think he could take her rejection of his affections. 

He simply placed the king from his chess set on her desk. Nyota would know what it meant. If she felt the same, she would come to him. If not, she would leave him alone in his rejection.

She said nothing for weeks. She no longer lingered in his office to spend time with him socially. Yes, she did have her thesis to finish, but she would have made the time to speak to him. Spock accepted her rejection. Perhaps she had misunderstood the meaning of the piece. Perhaps she just saw it as a prize for her victory over him and not as a token of his affections. 

Or maybe she didn't feel the same way.

His final class of the day had ended, with only a few days left in the term. He heard the student behind him, but he didn't really listen. He cut down any attempt at the student to procure more time for their thesis. 

"Actually Commander," it was Nyota. "I uploaded my thesis last week and it's already been collated and graded. If you'd care to check, you'll see that I finished with the highest score in the class. Now considering I've completed this course and you no longer have any impact on my academic future, I was hoping to ask you to dinner. How's that sound?"

Spock could feel his heart begin to pound. He could only manage out a single word: "Fascinating."

Nyota pulled the chess piece from her jacket. She smiled. "I'm keeping it."

Spock felt the corners of his mouth twitch. Indeed she was.

* * *

Spock didn't know what to make of the memory. Why had it come to him? Was it because he was wondering why his younger self would have pursued a relationship with Nyota? Had he inadvertently probed his mind for the memories?

So that was how it happened. It was an opportunity he had been denied. He had not taught at the Academy when Nyota was there. He was already on the Enterprise. 

His counterpart's hesitation brought his own memories to the forefront. Encounters he had with his own Nyota-- Lieutenant Uhura. One stuck out in his mind.

It was not long after she arrived on the Enterprise. After she'd sung with him while he played the _Ka'athyra,_ she'd asked him for lessons. She had been coming to his quarters for lessons for weeks. The longer they went, the lengthier their time together became. Once they were done with lessons, the Lieutenant would ask him about Vulcan and she would tell him about Kenya. 

And then there was that night. Three months into their lessons. He had been walking the Lieutenant back to her quarters after an evening together. They were chatting idly until they arrived at her door.

The Lieutenant hesitated outside of her door, looking up at Spock through thick lashes. "Here we are, Mister Spock."

"Indeed. I will see you on the bridge tomorrow, Lieutenant."

Before he could leave, the Lieutenant's hand touched his arm. "Mister Spock... I'd like to thank you... For all of the lessons you've been giving me."

"I will consider myself thanked, Lieutenant."

Uhura's tongue slipped out and licked her lips. "I'd like to find a way to thank you properly. I could make you dinner."

Spock's initial thought was to tell the Lieutenant he found adequate sustenance in the mess. But as he looked down at her, he felt something deep within himself. A compulsion to lean closer to her. 

Before he could make the movement, he went over the consequences of that action. Acting inappropriately with a subordinate. The betrayal of his betrothal to T'Pring. The betrayal of the Lieutenant for _hiding_ his betrothal to T'Pring.

And perhaps losing the respect of the Lieutenant, if she did not return his desire.

He straightened himself up, placing his hands behind his back. "It is unnecessary. I did not teach you for your gratitude. Your lessons have progressed to the stage where you should be sufficiently trained to work by yourself. I look forward to hearing you play."

The Lieutenant's smile faded and she nodded her head. "I look forward to that too, Mister Spock. I'll see you on the bridge."

* * *

He was seeing through his counterpart again. He had figured out how to stop the visions, but... He couldn't resist just one more time. One more moment with Nyota.

He was filled with determination as he strode up the corridor towards his quarters. Nyota was standing in front of the door. He put a hand on her shoulder and whirled her around. "Lieutenant."

Nyota turned, blinking at him in surprise. "Commander? Did you forget something?"

"Neglected something is more accurate." He cupped her face, gazing down at her. He spoke quickly as he gazed into her lovely dark eyes. "You don't need to thank me because I taught you because I enjoyed your company. I have always enjoyed your company. You are an attractive young woman. Vulcan has no moon, but the sight of Delta Vega setting in the sky is most aesthetically pleasing. And I don't want to ask you if you've ever been in love because..."

He took her mouth hungrily, pouring his want for her into the kiss. He didn't care about the crew in the corridors. This was the moment. This was _their_ moment.

When he pulled back, Nyota was looking up at him with a slightly dazed, but happy expression. She caressed his cheek. "Spock."

She opened the door to the quarters and led him in. "I would still like to thank you properly."

Spock allowed himself to be pulled along. He knew it was wrong on several levels. But he did not want to stop. 

He wanted this. Wanted this moment to happen this way. Wanted to know what it was like, even if it was a facsimile... An echo of a moment that never was. That might have been.

Nyota held up her hand. Spock raised his hand, fingers trembling as they pressed to the pads of hers. It was only in that moment that he realized _he_ was in control of his body. These were not the actions of the Commander... It was his choice to make.

"Is this okay?" Nyota asked softly.

Spock nodded his head, caressing her fingers tenderly before leaning in to press another kiss to her mouth. It was softer than their first, not as desperate... But a hunger simmered in him. He had this chance and he wasn't going to waste it.

"Are _you_ sure about this?" Spock asked. He wasn't sure if he was asking Nyota or his other self.

Either way, Nyota pressed a soft, sensual kiss to his fingers was all the answer he needed. She led him to the bed and he sat down on the edge. Nyota unzipped her uniform and let it pool at her feet. She then opened her bra, dropping it to the floor. Spock sucked in a breath as she shimmied out of her panties. 

"You are so beautiful," he whispered. "You always are."

Nyota cupped his face to kiss him. Spock fought the urge to touch her face. He couldn't risk melding with her. His thoughts were on his Nyota. He could not let this young girl-- with her whole life ahead of her-- know anything about her future.

Her undressing of him was just as methodical as her own, but still sultry as her fingers drifted over the newly exposed flesh.

Once he was bared, Nyota slipped onto the bed. "What would you like, Spock?"

Spock turned her to lie on her back, gazing down at her reverently. He skimmed his fingers over her dark skin. "You. Just you."

He started with her mouth, kissing and licking over her lips. He descended down her throat before pausing at her breasts, paying attention to each mound. He licked, sucked and nipped at her nipples, toying with whichever was unattended with his fingers. He trailed his kisses down to her navel, swirling his tongue in her belly button. He urged her to part her thighs.

"I was supposed to be thanking you, Spock," Nyota gasped.

Spock glanced up at her, gazing into her eyes, already hooded with the pleasure he was bestowing upon her. "You are, Lieutenant."

Kneeling between her thighs, Spock found her wet and yearning for him. He languidly lapped at her sex, making her keen and grab at his hair. One leg draped over his shoulder, trying to pull him closer. He buried himself in the taste of her, in the scent of her. He slipped a finger into her heat, gliding it in and out slowly as he sucked on her clitoris. He added a second finger, feeling her muscles fluttering around the digits. Nyota's back arched off the bed and she cried out his name.

He could have spent hours pleasuring her, but Nyota urged him up. She kissed his lips, no doubt tasting herself on his lips. She turned him onto his back, taking hold of his wrist. She lapped at the fingers that had just been inside of her. She then sucked them into her mouth, slowly taking them in down to the knuckle. Spock groaned as her teeth rasped against them. She licked and sucked at all of his fingers before moving down to the palm, continuing to kiss and lick it. While she orally pleasured his hand, she wrapped a hand around his shaft, stroking him slowly.

Spock closed his eyes and threw his head back in a loud groan. But he didn't want to keep his eyes off of her for long. He wanted to see everything. He wanted to commit each moment to memory. 

Especially as Nyota climbed astride him. She placed her hands on his chest, sinking down on top of him. She cried out as he breached her. Spock reached down and ran his still sensitive fingers over the place where they were intimately joined.

Nyota cried out as he stroked her. She rode him slowly. Spock watched her move, the muscles of her abdomen rippling as she rose and fell on top of him. He slid his free hand up her body, toying with her bouncing breasts. Nyota bowed her head and took her fingers back into his mouth, sucking wantonly on them.

With a smooth movement, Spock flipped them over so Nyota was on her back. He surged into her, making her squeal. He bent down and kissed her fiercely, nipping at her lower lip. He still resisted the deep urge to meld with her. Even without that intimate connection, he knew she was growing closer to her peak. Spock himself was reaching his pinnacle.

Feeling her clench around him was all he needed. He buried his head in the crook of her neck and let out a ragged groan. His hips snapped forward before stuttering to his climax. 

His body trembled as he pressed kisses to her shoulder, her neck. He mouthed over her jaw before reaching her lips. When he pulled back, she opened her mouth to say something. Spock pressed a finger to her lips. He shook his head. "Don't say it. Only say it for him... Thank you, Lieutenant."

He felt his counterpart take control of his body once again. He kissed Nyota softly before slipping off the bed.

Spock walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. He found himself staring at... Himself.

Not his younger counterpart. His own, wisened form. Somehow, across this bond, they were staring at one another as if they were standing in front of each other.

Spock felt the guilt seep into him at his voyeuristic activities. "How long have you known?" 

"As you dreamt of me, I dreamt of you, Ambassador," the Commander explained. "I have seen all of the work you have done for New Vulcan. Our people are safe in your hands." 

There was a long silence between them. The Commander touched the mirror and Spock was compelled to do the same. "You never had her."

"I had a friend," Spock admitted. "A wonderful friend.... But no more than that. Perhaps I had the chance, but I lacked your courage to take even that first step. We will never know what might have been."

The Commander looked down, shoulders slumping. "I would not have had the strength to resist her."

Through their link, Spock could feel the pity of the Commander. Spock shook his head. "I had a good life, Commander. I had a wife I cherished. And I had my friends. Including her. It was a friendship I will treasure until my last breath."

"Did I act inappropriately in my action with Nyota tonight?" The Commander looked shamed. "I saw your memory of your regret. I only wished to..."

Spock shook his head to cut his younger self off. "It was an opportunity. To experience a moment in time I may have done differently given a second chance. It was illuminating. It may have happened that way in my time... But it may not have."

The Commander nodded. "I know you wondered what might have happened. I wanted to give you the chance. To have her. Just once."

Spock smiled softly. "I enjoyed it. And I thank you."

The Commander nodded. He then looked up. His eyes were slightly wide. "Ambassador... I saw another memory. It was faint. But I still saw it."

Spock took in a deep breath and nodded.

The Commander looked even younger as he spoke. "When was it, Ambassador? When did that memory happen?"

Spock remained silent.

The Commander was shaking slightly. "Ambassador, when does Nyota die?"

"This timeline is different," Spock assured his younger counterpart. "There is no guarantee of anything now. To tell you such information would do nothing but place an unreliable timer within your mind. I will only tell you Uhura... My Nyota... Lived a long life. A prosperous life. I mourned at that moment, but she was content. And she knew she was loved."

The Commander let out a shuddering breath.

"I've felt what you have, Commander. I know the feelings you have for Lieutenant Uhura. And I know those emotions are powerful. Never be afraid of them... And do not squander them. However long you have... It will not be enough."

Spock thought of his friends, a timeline away and a hundred years ago. Nothing the Commander was doing would be long enough. Too soon it would all fade away.

The Commander nodded. "You have found a way to sever our link?"

"Not sever... Block." Spock sighed. "This is your life, Commander Spock. You should not be burdened by an old man wondering what may have been. You two deserve your happiness... Alone."

"Spock?"

Nyota crept into the bathroom, wearing the Commander's shirt to cover herself. The Commander pulled her towards him, putting an arm around her. He placed the fingers of his free hand against her cheek.

She gasped at the mirror, but smiled. "Ambassador Spock. We haven't gotten to meet yet... Not really."

Spock felt suddenly uncomfortable with all he had witnessed-- all he had _done_ \-- with the girl who was a veritable stranger to him. "My apologies, Lieutenant. I have been intrusive."

"It's all right," Nyota whispered. She leaned her head against the Commander's chest. Her dark eyes were sad. The bond she shared with the Commander stretched through to Spock. She didn't want her _ashayam_ to be lonely... Any version of him.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Spock's voice was rough. "I enjoyed my time with you. My counterpart is a very lucky man."

The Commander pressed a kiss to Nyota's brow. "He is right. I am."

Spock nodded his head. He looked over the young couple. He focused his attention on Nyota for a long moment. "Live long." He then turned to the Commander. "And prosper."

****

_Ka'athyra = A vulcan string instrument seen in "Charlie X"_

_kolinahr = Purging of emotions_

_Shon-ha'lock = Love at first sight_

_Ashayam = Beloved_

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to the Star Trek ongoing for the story of how Spock fell in love with Uhura, as well as the dialogue where Uhura asks him out for the first time.


End file.
